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Same old trailer trash in new shoes
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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in more than just a corpse's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
1:34 pm
You Kno The Drill, Friends Only, Comment To Be Added!!
I hate to make my journal "Friends Only" but as of recent events this change is a must. I, myself hate this exclusive shit b/c it makes you out to be this bitch! I'm not picky about what ppl comment to me that's not the problem but the problem was out of my hands.

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Comment To Be Added!!

Current Mood: silly
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
7:18 pm
Ain't Nuttin But A Bitch Thang Baby!!
Enter value in comment, then copy & paste to your own LJ.

0= I don't know you

1= I like you

2= I love you !

3= You are funny

4= You are cool

5= I don't really care for your personality

6= I want to fuck you

7= You are sexy !

8= You have a nice body

9= I want to get to know you

10= I hope you die

11= Marry me, PLEASE ?

12= wanna have sex later ?

I am so fuckin ready for skool to start so I can decide if I want to continue goin or drop-out and work full-time. Word on the street is that Steve is comin back to skool as well as his good friend who liked/likes me, Dan. I sense many a posts about this fucked up triangle. Hope everything works out for the best.

Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
8:14 pm
I Flirt With Suicide
In memory of koRn, here's some lyrics:


I can't seem to get away
I feel I'm here so you can play
With my head
There's nothing I can say
I keep feeling like I'm to blame
When will this end? ~ WHEN WILL THIS END

We are estranged
We are deranged
I can't explain
How you all break me apart ~ I'm Done

Break you down
Mercy, I cannot allow
Through your face, My fist will plow
Watching as your blood pours down
Lets do this now ~ Let's Do This Now

i can not ever find a way
to throw these darkened thoughts away
need a place to hide
its thrown in my face everyday
guess thats the price i have to pay
for whats inside my mind ~ Alive

Deep Inside, It can hide!
Feeling so lost and betrayed
why does this happen to me everytime
Stuck in this place, where I can't escape
Screaming and clawing from deep inside ~ Deep Inside

Counting, on me.
Always hoping I'll be
There for all of your problems
and in turn you're never there for me
You sucked the life out of me
You hate everything you see
I can't take this anymore
I always stay when I should leave
You see the pain in my face
While you keep putting me down
Inside the rage starts to build
You push me I won't go down
You're the one who's always screaming at me
I'm the one that keeps your lives so care free
What the fuck more do you want me to be?
Why must you do this to me? ~ Counting on Me

I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground ~ Right Now


tell me where to start
think I'm at the end
Right now, feeling pain
make it go away ~ I'm Hiding

Falling through this space in time
buried in this hurt of mine
falling slowly like a dream
falling through a world unseen ~ One More Time

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me ~ Thoughtless

My heart's breaking
Man you really ripped it out
You take pleasure watching as
I claw my way out
The hurt rising
Soon it's gunna to tear my soul out ~ Bottled Up Inside

Is there ever any wonder why we look to the sky?
Search in vane?
Asking why?
All alone?
Where is God?
Looking down?
We don’t know? ~ Hollow Life


Keep knocking.
No one's there.
Pouring down.
Near be felt.
I'm out here, by myself.
All alone.
Ready to blow my head off.
I hurt so bad inside.
I wish you could see the world through my eyes.
Each day is the same
I just wanna live again. ~ Dirty

I can't bare to face what's growing in my head.
Please get away from me.
Take advantage of what I still guess you do.
One day you'll pay for me.
So I'm saying nothing.
Each day taking that much more.
As I'm screaming all my pain.
You will be there counting. ~ Counting

Sometimes I wish I could be strong like you.
It doesn't matter.
Each time I wake I'm somehow feeling the truth.
I can't handle ~ Let's Get This Party Started

I am watching the rise and fall of my salvation.
There's so much shit around me.
Such a lack of compassion.
I thought it would be all fun and games (would be fun and games).
Instead it's all the same (it's all the same).
I want something to do.
Need to feel the sickness in you.
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not
It's quite decieving as I'm feeling the flesh make
me bad. ~ Make Me Bad

This shit right here is for you.
All your faces I can see.
You all think it's about me.
I'm about to break.
This is my fate
Am I still damned to a life
Of misery and hate.
You would never known.
What I've done for you.
What you may put me through.
I'd do it for you.
I could have never lived.
If it wasn't for you ~ 4 U

I flirt with suicide.
Sometimes kill the pain ~ Falling Away From Me

Follow the Leader:

Your throat, I take grasp
Can you feel the pain?
Then your eyes roll back
Can you feel the pain?
Love racing through my veins
Can't you feel the pain?
Your heart stops beating
Can't you feel the pain
Black orgasms
Can't you feel the pain
I kiss your lifeless skin
Can't you feel the pain ~ My Gift To You

RAPE! Something...
NOW! Rips my...
HEART! And takes...
MY! Soul I...
WAIT! Too late...
NOW! I feel...
RAPED! Inside...
TAKE! My soul away....
Away.... ~ Pretty

Something takes a part of me.
Something lost and never seen.
Everytime I start to believe,
Something's raped and taken from me ~ Freak On A Leash

Life is Peachy:

I hate writing shit
Ain't looking foward to it
What's fucked up, today?
Writing all this time
Feeling all that's mine
Come right out my pen
Pain. . .Pain. . .Pain. . . ~ Ass Itch

Screwin' may be the only way that I can truly be free
from my fucked up reality ~ A.D.I.D.A.S

I see your faces and I do not understand why
Each time I dream you standin there, right by my side
Why do you make me, you take my pride
and in my eyes you kinda rape me, inside ~ No Place To Hide

Why can't I decide, why my feelings I hide?
Always screwing with my mind, that thorn in my spine ~ Lost


Another place I find to escape the pain inside
You don't know the chances. What if I should die?!
A place inside my brain, another kind of pain
You don't know the chances. I'm so blind!
Deeper and deeper and deeper as I journey to
live a life that seems to be a lost reality
that can never find a way to reach ~ Blind

I can't stand the sight of you
I can't stand what you put me through
Your life's a lie, that you hide
Is it that terrible being you inside?
I can't stand, oh, the thought of you
I can't stand all the things you do
What do you try to justify?
You were just too scared to be you inside
It all go ~ Fake

I would like to search inside
for all of the things that you will hide
What's the problem?
Can't you seem to open your body and let me touch you ~ Lies

This thing I follow
The place, I'm too scared to fuckin' go
A freak, that I'm sure
A freak, that is yours ~ Swallow

Current Mood: devious
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
1:32 pm
Taken from: nahimanatane

15 songs that first play on your playlist on random:
1) Ciara ~ Goodies
2) Ludacris ~ Splash Waterfalls
3) HIM ~ Razorblade Kiss
4) Ashlee Simpson ~ La La
5) Gwen Stefani ~ What Ya Waitin For
6) Saliva ~ Click Click Boom
7) Marilyn Manson ~ The Beautiful People
8) NIN ~ Closer
9) The Used ~ Listenin
10) ICP ~ Amys in the Attic
11) Esham ~ Mental Stress
12) Ludacris ~ Screwed Up
13) The White Stripes ~ Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground
14) NFG ~ Head on Collision
15) Petey Pablo ~ Freak-a-leek

14 first contacts in your cell and who they are to you:
1) Dave ~ juggalo homie
2) Mike ~ brother
3) Tonya ~ brother's fiancee
4) Heather ~ friend
5) Stephie ~ best friend
6) Steve ~ ex friend/lover - hopefully soon to be friend again
7) Dan ~ guy who has a crush on me (but he's still fun to hang w/)
8) Nikki ~ my sister's good friend
9) Tiff ~ friend since kindergarten
10) Veronica ~ my aunt
11) Chris ~ cousin
12) Mike K ~ pharmasist dude who hit on me
13) Shauna ~ my former manager/friend
14) Ray ~ friend of my brother's/drug dealer/awesome old dude

13 people you've considered your best friend at one point growing up:
1) Heather
2) Stephie
3) Tiff
4) Sarah (was at one point til she fucked me over)
5) Dave
6) Lauren S
7) Steve
8) Sara (from CCAC)
9) my sis :)
10) Melissa
11) Gianna
12) Nate
13) Chad (my monkey)

12 turn on's (sexually)
1) tattoos
2) lip rings
3) dark eyes
4) dark hair
5) hands
6) lil facial hair
7) juggalos
8) humor
9) butts
10) smile
11) scruffy/dirty/bad boy lookin lol
12) chest

11 words to describe yourself:
1) ditzy
2) funny
3) odd
4) bitchy
5) evil
6) laid back
7) immpatient
8) compassionate
9) depressed
10) flirty
11) loyal

10 things you immediately see as you look around right now:
1) cup full of apple juice
2) CDs
3) CD player
4) my English book
5) computer
6) sharpie
7) shoes
8) coat
9) books

9 nicknames youve been given:
1) Bern
2) Babs
3) Lil Lette
4) Hey You
5) Blondie
6) Angel
7) Baby Girl
8) Cemetary Girl
9) "B"

8 people that make you laugh:
1) my sister
2) Heather
3) Dave
4) Steve
5) my mom (she's crazy)
6) Stephie
7) Ton
8) my brother

7 facts about you that not many people know:
1) I'm a Klepto
2) I've been to a therapist but left after she accused my parents of stupid shit
3) I'm emotionally unstable
4) I have cut
5) I wanna be a writer/poet
6) I believe in the supernatural
7) I used to be a happy person

6 years ago you were ________ and you were doing what:
goin on 14 and losing my mind.

5 words you say the most, or phrases:
1) Suck my nuts
2) fuck/fuck you
3) damnit
4) bitches
5) hate

4 people on your LJ friends list who you would like to meet the most:
1) jamiesgonecrazy
2) suicidaldgn
3) nahimanatane
4) spazekadet
shutup I'm addin a fifth bitches!!!!! 5.) spider_babie

3 things you would have done differently in the past:
1) Been more open w/ my feelings especially towards Steve (but I'm working on fixing that)
2) Studied harder in highschool so I could have got a scholarship to a better college
3) Kept my job

2 people on your LJ friends that you completely trust:
1) jamiesgonecrazy
2) wildheart49

1 person you love more than anything:
1) Dave ~ He's been there for me through rough shit and he's my juggalo homie til the day we die.

Current Mood: enthralled
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
10:29 pm
Still extremely drugged so survey it is:

Which Joker's Card is your favorite (in terms of looks)?:: Carnival of Carnage

Favorite Joker's Card (in terms of music)? Riddlebox

The First ICP CD you heard? Ringmaster

The First ICP CD You bought for someone else?: Forgotten Freshness Pt 1

The First ICP CD you bought for yourself?: Riddlebox

The First ICP CD someone gave you?: Thy Wraith

Who's better; Shaggy or Violent J?: Shaggz

Eminem Ain't Nothin But A Bitch!: a sissy ass pretty boy bitch!!

Current Mood: groggy
Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
12:32 pm
take a band/group you like, and answer the questions with names of their songs

Band/Group Choice: Insane Clown Posse

Are you female or male? Cemetary Girl

Describe yourself: The Dead One

How do some people feel about you? My Kind of Bitch

How do you feel about yourself? Skitsofrantic

Describe your ex girlfriend or boyfriend: I Didn't Mean To Kill Him

Describe your current girlfriend or boyfriend: Southwest Strangla

Describe where you want to be: Juggalo Paradise

Describe what you want to be: Super Star

Describe how you live: We Gives No Fucks

Describe how you love: Under The Moon

Share a few words of wisdom: We Belong

Current Mood: content
Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
7:00 pm
~ Zen Thoughts ~
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a Tire leak.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your Neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and got slapped on our ass... Then things get worse.

25. Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

26. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

27. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11

29. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

30. The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory.

Current Mood: flirty
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